So I’m trying this blogging thing again; trying for a sense of semi-regularity. I figure, given I’m moving interstate in a month (!), regular attempts at communication beyond Facebook bullshit would be a plus. Currently all I’m doing is reading this back to myself in Sarah Jessica Parker’s voice, and I don’t even watch Sex and the City. Yep.
Now, it seems, is the time for wrap-ups and self reflection/reflexion and really all I want to do is drink another cup of tea and watch another episode of Veep. That being said, 2013 has been kind to me. Melodramatic at turns, but on the whole, pretty fucking swell. I learned –
– that wallpaper, no matter how golden and maroon and hilarious it may be, will turn on you. Particularly when you are: a) surrounded by stoned people (and perhaps a little stoned yourself), wearing a dress made of garbage bags and 4 wigs at your house-warming party, and b) particularly when you are suffering from some sort of intense bout of hang-over-cum-heat-stroke and can’t stand without the threat of vomiting everywhere. In these moments, I also learned to understand our crazy landlord (or at least, understand why he might nail plastic over the carpet).
– that money is not the be all and end all. Thanks, universe (might still be catching up with this one). From that, respect and mental health are more important than staying in a fucking horrible job.
– that perserverance pays. I’ve been bashing my head against this theatre thing for five years now, trying, with mild successes and mild indifferences, but this year I followed through on applications left right and centre and saw progress in leaps and bounds. I’ve achieved some pretty cool things this year, and for that I am proud of myself.
– to own my shit and be kind(er) to myself (again, still working on). Even if you are coy, or shy, or unsure of your own artistic worth or integrity, learn to accept when you’ve done something well, and own it. “is… is it okay?” isn’t cute. Similarly, accept your failures. You fail. You are human. You are trying to make art/work/what the fuck ever, and at least you’re trying and putting work out there. Learn from your failures. Learn from your mistakes. Learning is key. Success comes in many measures.
– to not to hate my face in the mirror. I’ve gone over this stuff at large in some previous entry, I’m sure, but I am proud to say this has been the longest stretch in… years, that I get up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and don’t have to force myself to like what i see. I might have days of low self esteem, but my face and my body are mine alone, and for that I should love them.
– that I can write an 8000 word essay in less than a day. Quality pending.
– that my body really, really hates me if I drink more than one cider at any time.
– that an angry Nicki Minaj song set to 11 can solve most things (or failing that, some time with the Golden Girls).
…and that now I should sleep.